September 21, 2015
This day will always be one of the best of my life. I had spent most of the day before in tears because I was so sure that I would be getting bad news at my doctors appointment the following day. I have unexplained infertility. Lee and I had spent the previous two years trying to get pregnant, with no success. I had just finished my first round of Clomid and had little faith that it would work.
Infertility is very discouraging.
At the appointment, Lee and I talked with the doctor about how my cycle had gone that month. She kept asking me over and over what cycle day it was. I kept repeating over and over that it was day 30, but I was sure my period would be starting any day. She asked me a few times if I wanted to take a pregnancy test. I told her no because I didn’t want to feel that disappointment again and I was convinced that my period would start that day or the next. Month after month of getting negative ovulation and pregnancy tests had really discouraged me. With a little convincing from her, I took the test and about three minutes later she came in…
“Are you ready for this?”
Lee and I couldn’t believe what we were hearing and the doctor was as surprised as us that the Clomid had worked so quickly. We scheduled our first ultrasound and OB appointment, then went on our way.
OMG, WE’RE PREGNANT?!?!?!
The drive home was filled with laughing and questions and tears. We were beyond excited! And I was a bit terrified thinking about the “what ifs.” We waited quite a while before sharing with family and even longer before sharing with everyone else. I had a very easy pregnancy, with no complications at all. My labor and delivery went exactly how I wanted it to go. I couldn’t have asked for a better pregnancy experience. Everything worked out so well and as I stare at our perfect baby girl, I can’t help but think that as difficult as those two years were, everything happened exactly how it was supposed to. She has brought so much joy into so many lives.
That Strong Reminder I Told You About…
I can’t tell you how many times I was asked why we hadn’t had a baby or when that was going to happen. We often got that fun teasing people give you as a couple about not “popping any babies out.” I also can’t tell you how many times I went home and cried because of those seemingly innocent questions. I’d like to think I have pretty thick skin, but all of that goes away when your body betrays you.
Please remember that you have absolutely NO idea what is happening in someone else’s life. You have no idea if they have taken yet another pregnancy test that came back negative. What if they have just been diagnosed with a life changing disorder which may or may not allow them to have children? You don’t know and it isn’t your business to know or ask if they choose not to share it with you.
Our journey to become parents felt like forever and it only lasted two years. Some couples struggle for 3, 4, 5 years or more before becoming parents and others aren’t able to overcome infertility. Not only does your body betray you, but with infertility comes a financial burden some can’t overcome.
So again, before opening wounds that are barely being held together, I ask you to bite your tongue when you have the urge to ask someone about having children.
If you are struggling with infertility, please reach out to someone. Share your thoughts. Share your feelings. You don’t have to suffer alone. So many women suffer in silence, but there are millions of women struggling with infertility daily. In the past, infertility wasn’t something to be talked about. They kept their struggle to themselves. That isn’t how it has to be. You don’t have to be ashamed, embarrassed, or feel inadequate. Share your story, if not with me, then someone close to you. Please comment below, if you’re comfortable or feel free to send me a message. I’d love to talk with you.
Hug yourself and take time to breath, because you deserve it.
For more information about me, feel free to check out my “About Me” page, HERE.